Crazytown

AND THE AWARD GOES TO

...Baby iguanas. Seriously though, read on.
By Alisha Giampola (writer/performer)

This week, we learned that we might be living in The Matrix. After a totally crazy last minute envelope mixup at the Oscars, America went from thinking the highest film award honor of Best Picture had gone to preposterously over-hyped and under-whelming La La Land to realizing that it had actually gone to the deeply moving, amazingly written, and incredibly beautiful Moonlight (strong opinions mine). This alternate reality scenario in which the best possible outcome happened to be actually true, got most of us wondering "can we go back and maybe check that presidential-election-envelope again?" 

But no, you-know-who is still currently the 45th person to hold the highest office in our land, and daily proves himself to be just a genuinely revolting human. On Monday, he realized that healthcare (as an entire concept) was much more complicated than anyone could possibly have ever anticipated. No really. Then he had a joint session of congress and basically said things like how he will "promote clean air and clean water" while literally earlier today he issued an executive order to withdraw the Clean Water Rule. No really. 

I will say that his complete lack of knowledge of the American system of government has encouraged myself and a whole lot of other people to get significantly more knowledgable ourselves in order to appropriately arm ourselves to intellectually fight back. If you haven't already availed yourself of the amazing Indivisible Guide which has been breaking the internet recently, may I recommend that you find a local group and get active? My husband, Daniel, whose preferred coping method is something I like to call Extreme Organizing, formed a local Indivisible chapter in our neighborhood. You can check ours out at our website here, and come join us for a meeting if you're interested! Our group is called the New York Indivisible Action Council, or the NYCIA Council. Haha. (Say "NYCIA Council" out loud and feel free to enjoy the little ecumenical-historical joke I made purely for my own entertainment.) 

There were a lot of amazing moments a the Oscars this year besides Moonlight's big win. Viola Davis made history as the first black woman to have earned an Oscar, Emmy, and Tony in Acting categories. Asghar Farhadi, from Iran, won for his Best Foreign Language film, and had a powerful statement against the recent unconstitutional travel ban read on his behalf by Anousheh Ansari, the first Iranian/Muslim woman in space. Not to mention that Janelle Monáe wore my new favorite outfit of all time:

I MEAN.

With the awards season wrapping up and the resistance honestly just getting started, it's been a pretty busy time. If you've also been busy, and a little overwhelmed with the state of the world, may I recommend checking out the new season of Planet Earth?! Like you need to do this immediately. We watched the first two episodes (Islands and Mountains, respectively) last night and we literally shrieked like children seventeen times. I swear at one point Daniel and I were both yelling "FASTER FASTER FASTER!" at baby iguanas on the screen. 

OMG OMG OMG OMG.
(Watch the full trailer for Planet Earth II here.)

Have a great week, Crazytown. And remember: even a baby iguana can outrun a pack of snakes. (Is it a "pack" of snakes? No. According to this, it is several possible things, all of them creepy. But a group of rattlesnakes is called a "rhumba", which is absolutely fantastic news.) 

ALISHA GIAMPOLA is an NYC based actor/teacher/writer who, just like you, had to Google whether or not that was Mel Gibson's girlfriend or daughter and, just like you, was deeply mortified to find out that she was his WIFE.
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LA LA BASURA?

When a theatre filled with movie stars turns to television to honor cinema sometimes crazy things happen.
By Owen Panettieri (playwright, lyricist)

Oh the 89th Academy Awards. You would not be denied your place in Oscar History. Sure, maybe some folks at the Academy of Motion Pictures and Sciences were thinking, let's just put up a pleasant endless evening of televised awards with not too many theatrics and bells and whistles and save the big fireworks for when we hit the big 9-0 next year. But, oh no. You would not be denied. Instead, you gave us some true triumphs and a shocking reversal of fortune at the finish line that left jaws dropped. Love it or loathe it, the 89th Oscars will be remembered. Good luck topping this insanity, #90.

On my way to watch the Oscars, I passed this Anti-Ll La Land sign outside a bar. I really enjoyed La La Land. I thought it was good. I didn't really think it was the best film I ever saw, or the best film I saw all year, but there was a lot to recommend about it. Definitely a lot I truly enjoyed about it. But as it won more and more awards throughout the season, the hype around it made it harder for me to just enjoy it and instead I started focusing on its faults. Was it really a better than Hidden Figures or Moonlight just to name two other high quality films released this year? Was it worthy of a record-tying 14 Oscar nominations. I became more and more skeptical. I don't think it's basura, or that LA is basura, but I went in to the Oscar telecast rooting for the underdogs in every category and certainly didn't want to see a sweep. Outside of that I wasn't sure what the telecast itself would bring. 

At the end of it all, I liked the Oscars this year. If the 2009 (Kanye-v-Taylor Swift) VMA's had a love child with 2015 Miss Universe Pageant (Steve Harvey Announces the wrong winner, it would grow up to be the 2017 Academy Awards. Wrong winner announced? Check! Awards speech interrupted? Check! Living people included in the In Memoriam? New! And also: check! Plus Junior Mints, Cookies and Donuts were parachuted into the auditorium Hunger Games-style. If this had all happened in 30 minutes instead on over 3.5 hours, it would have been the most excited show of the year. As it was, there was a lot stuff to sit through, but let's focus on the positive!

SUPER BOLD MVP

On a weekend full of sports ball heroics, the ballsiest performance still belongs to a woman.
By Owen Panettieri (playwright, lyricist)

I like the Patriots. I like that they always win. I like going into work after any given Sunday during football season with the likelihood that my team of choice has done better than my coworkers who favor the Giants or the Jets. I don't like the politics of their owner, their coach or their star quarterback Tom Brady. I don't like the fact that they consistently season after season run into big problems with bending the rules in their favor. Anyone who's not a fan of the team, believes they are the world's biggest cheaters and those who are fans would counter that they're simply the best cheaters. And don't I deserve the best?

Everyone who hated the Patriots wanted them to lose badly to Falcons. For 3 quarters, it looked like they were going to get their wish. The trailed 28-3 in the third, and no team had ever come back in a Super Bowl by more than 10 points. And the lopsided nature of the first three quarters made the game pretty boring. Tom Brady was way off. It wasn't like his receivers were dropping the ball, he was overthrowing and under-throwing. They had no success running the ball. They were completely out of rhythm for most of the game. But just when it looked like the Falcons were going to put the final nail in the coffin in the 4th quarter, their fortunes totally reversed. A holding penalty on the Falcons offense and a tremendous sack by the Patriots defense, knocked the Falcons out of field goal range and from that point on it was all Patriots. That launched the most improbable comeback in Super Bowl history, scoring 25 unanswered points, forcing the game into a first-ever overtime and snatching victory from the jaws of defeat. The ending couldn't have been more dramatic. People are calling it the best Super Bowl ever. It might be the most surprising, but I feel like I've seen better back and forth matches that were more exciting to watch from beginning to end. Still a win is a win, and the Patriots are the champs again!

TAKE A DISNEY BREAK

The past several weeks, it feels like everything has been spinning at me from every direction - I've felt totally out of control, and I'm a person who likes to have control. As I've tried a whole variety of things to calm myself down, one thing really helped. Disney. Really! More than yoga or binge eating junkfood, Disney has been my happy place the past few days.

 

by Liz Richards (writer)

 

 

These silly, sappy cartoons from childhood really have been like old forgotten friends this week.

Maybe it's an emotional release, to laugh and cry at the frivolous little cartoons.

Maybe it's nostalgia, singling along to songs that shaped me.

Maybe it's just nice to get caught up in old familiar storylines. 

But this has been a crucial part of my self care this week, so there must be something to this Disney therapy! Even if it's not Disney, you should do something silly and familiar and fun this week. It'll help, I promise.

 

Here are a handful of my favorite Disney moments:

1) This classic Steamboat Willie sketch that makes me giggle every time!

 

2) This will always be my jam:

 

It's also worth revisiting "Colors of the Wind" - still incredibly beautiful and heartbreakingly relevant right now.

3) "Be Our Guest" because obviously.

 

4) Any part of The Little Mermaid because Ariel is best.

 

5) The "Hi Ho Song" from Snow White because Grumpy has my heart.

 

 

I don't know about you, but it was really hard to pick my favorite Disney moments. I could watch them forever! And they help. 

No matter how old I get, I can always learn from these characters, my first imaginary friends. And they're always there to make me laugh, pick me up when I'm down, and get me right back on my feet with just a little song.

Find your happy, find your silly. Be unapologetically nostalgic and childish in times like these, if only for the span of a cartoon. 

I think, if we have a little imagination and relearn the things that Disney taught us, we might be okay after all. Maybe there's something there.

 

FIVE THINGS THAT HELPED LAST WEEK

After the Women's March in DC, I was more energized than I'd ever been before. I was optimistic and ready to go. Then my roommate and I got back to our tiny NYC apartment Sunday and she found a bedbug in her room, "alternative facts" became a trending meme on the internet, and #45 began a daily assault on American civil liberties that doesn't show signs of letting up. 

There are a lot of stressors out there, and there's a lot of work to do. If you're like me, you've been feeling overwhelmed.  Here are five things that helped:

by Liz Richards (writer)

  

1) Finishing a good book, namely Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. Adichie has emerged over the last few years as one of the premiere feminist writers of our time, and for good reason. Americanah was such a needed and enjoyable read for me at this moment because it embraces immigration as a specific, human experience. I think that sometimes we get so caught up in these conversations about immigration and human rights that they seem like sweeping, abstract topics. This novel grounded me in the personal, the very nuanced details of a very human story in the context of bigger political and racial talking points, and that kind of human moment - that could only be captured in a well-written novel - helped bring it home. 

 

2) The app Countable, which is quickly establishing itself as the millennial answer to citizen engagement in politics. While I don't suggest anyone get their news from an app, I've found it to be a reliable and welcome resource this week. The app links you with your senators and district representative and gives you their contact info - you can email them directly from the app, but please note of course that calling reps is always better (because that way you're harder to ignore). It also turns political dialogue into an interactive and easily digestible game. Countable highlights the day's top issues, asks for feedback in the form of a "yay" or "nay" vote, and runs articles about the top congressional issues of the day/week. Easy to chew, not by any means exhaustive, but a nonetheless useful resource.

 

3) Starting a new binge-able book, My Life on the Road  by Gloria Steinem. Steinem's relatively new (2015) memoir highlights less of typical memoir experiences, and more of her countless interactions with others on campuses, in taxis, airplanes, and conventions across a lifetime of traveling and starting conversations. I've found it incredibly valuable this week to this picture of America put out before me - a picture where people with interests that both compliment and conflict with the author's want to work together to achieve what is best for the country as a whole and keep a dialogue open.

 

4) Attending a community organizing meeting in my neighborhood. I've popped by this meeting, primarily just to listen, at least every two or three weeks since the election. This particular group focuses on peaceful  protest and civil disobedience and their ultimate objectives include criminal justice reform and eliminating police brutality against people of color and people with disabilities. Most of these people don't look like me, don't share my background, and are more radicalized than I am. Listening to what they have to say teaches me that there is an entire demographic that I have never been exposed to and don't know much about, because my experience was designed to exclude them. I felt like skipping this week's meeting because I was so down, but at the last minute felt compelled to attend. Even if some of the things that were said didn't totally resonate with my experience, they opened me up just a little bit to a new way of looking at things. New perspectives and more listening are not only essential right now for the sake of minorities and preserving civil rights, but opening our own minds and hearts a little bit at a time.

 

5) Binge watching Black-ish on Hulu. I've seen episodes here or there, but never sat down and watched this show before. Lawrence Fishburne appeared on The Daily Show Thursday night to talk about his role as Mandela on the BET mini-series "Madiba" and his other role as the patriarch on the popular ABC sitcom. Fishburne and Trevor Noah has a conversation about what makes the show successful. It's a funny, light-hearted sitcom that is of course saturated in mainstream American perspectives, but it does something pretty new. It opens the floor for conversations about race in America, cultural identity, class mobility, womanhood, and notions of "maleness" in American families. It's a show that I don't would have been successful even ten years sooner, and that's progress. It's important right now to see that. 

 

These things helped. They fix anything, they didn't change the reality I lived in, but they were a necessary part of my self-care this week. Reading, watching, listening, engaging - not to antagonizers but in an open dialogue - is how we grow. These methods are how we heal, they're how we know we're not alone in what we're thinking and feeling, they're how we understand what others are thinking and feeling, and that community and togetherness is so very necessary right now. We don't rise alone, we can't. We have to nurture one another. We rise, together. 

RUPAUL SHOULD DO A "FALLEN STARS" SEASON

Imagine a television show where your least favorite and most likely forgotten Drag Race contestants got a second chance...

by David Davila

It's been a month and we're still talking about Drag Race All Stars 2... It was that good y'all. Sheesh! Between the drama, back-stabbing, alliances, runways, comedy, murderous lip-syncs, and plain ole shenanigans, All Stars 2 delivered some of the best entertainment of my entire life! So obviously we want more of it! Too bad that All Stars doesn't really work that way because we sorta have to wait for more All Stars to arise from the next few seasons. :/

So I have an idea (actually I'm not sure if the idea was mine or my friend Ryan's... we were really drunk). The queens are always talking about how much they've grown after the show, so what if we invited some of the forgotten queens, who were eliminated early, back a second chance to snatch the crown. What if Logo produced RuPaul's Drag Race Fallen Stars?

I've been following a lot of these girls on social media and so many of them have grown immensely since they departed Drag Race. Still... quite a few don't seem to have grown at all. THAT alone would make for great television.

So here are my picks for RuPaul's Drag Race Fallen Stars:

Laila McQueen 

People don't shut up about how amazing Laila McQueen is and I kind of believe them based on her fierce lip sync. She was definitely just not seasoned enough when she came to Drag Race, but that seems to have changed. 

Kelly Mantle 

One of the funniest queens on World of Wonder's youtube channel yet she can't seem to learn how to style her wigs. If she could just learn wigs she would be unstoppable. Her hair looks great in this picture though!!!

Serena ChaCha

She was in way over her head when she raced onto Season 5 and quickly made enemies with the fiercest, most seasoned queens in Drag Race herstory, but Ru was right in seeing potential in her. It's been four years since she sashayed away and has since started her own line of wigs. She may be the biggest threat and my early vote to snatch the fallen crown.

Mystique Summers

No one will ever forget her battle cry "Bitch, I am from Chicago!" The Cubs broke their century old curse so it may be the perfect season for Mystique so make a comeback! Her hair game is on point... but she would need to work on some custom designed outfits.

Sasha Belle

She was pretty basic when she stepped onto the Drag Race stage, but since leaving Sasha Belle has become the nightlife queen of Iowa. Her social media presence seems to indicate a big boost in confidence and the sense that she has embraced a camp sensibility. I think she could go far!

Dax Exclamation Point

Look at huh! She is a fierce queen! Her Comic-Con realness is legit! She would need to work on her high-fashion looks to stand a real chance, but she definitely deserves a shot!

Nicole Paige Brooks

A showgirl who relies on her really, really, really, hot body, she seems to have grown the least since her small time on Drag Race. If she could borrow some lace front wigs though... this show girl could stand a chance!

Phoenix

First of all gurrrl you need a last name to go with Phoenix because you are HARD TO GOOGLE! Sheesh! But isn't she fierce? Wow! She's one of the leading ladies of Atlanta Drag and doing it five nights a week at that. She could definitely rise to the top. 

MiMi Imfurst

Okay... so technically she is already an All-Star because she was on All Stars Season 1... BUT... Let me make a case for MiMi Imfurst as a fallen star. She was sent home wayyy too early on Season 3 of Drag Race and then again on All Stars 1 was not given a fair shot to show what she could do because she was paired up with Pandora Box and sent home in the first episode. Since then she's proven she can do anything with her viral videos, Off-Broadway shows, and National Pageant crowns. I'm sorry but we have just not seen enough of what Mimi Imfurst can do! And I demand a third chance!

and of course...

Porkchop

I mean really... need I say more?

 

Chewing on Freedom: One Last Ride

Obama, I see you!
By Erica Slutsky (Writer/Singer/Songwriter)

I’ve watched a ton of political documentaries over the last year and a half, and I keep coming back to Jesse Jackson and Julian Bond. Both tried to be the first Black President, and both failed due to similar factors outside of their control: Youthfulness, a lack of government experience, ties to specific cultural organizations, youth appeal, and the overall fear of putting a minority in charge. It’s strange to think that even fictional portrayals of Presidents were just as reticent to cast a Black actor in the role before President Barack Obama. It was downright revolutionary for director Mimi Leder to single out Morgan Freeman as her choice for the President in 1998’s Deep Impact. The film succeeded anyway, with little controversy. And it’s almost cliché to reference Freeman’s Deep Impact role now, as he would go on to play God (in multiple projects) and narrate Disney’s Hall of Presidents after Obama’s election (watch it be James Woods in 2018). My mom said that she was sure that we’d see a lot more of Samuel L. Jackson and Angela Bassett during the Obama administration because of his reach on the culture. She was wrong.

Of course, satire like this was also taken at face value. But it was a different time…

Even with Obama’s successes, history seems to conveniently erase the anger, paranoia, and “Oh, God, this guy again” talk surrounding both men. While Jackson heartily stumped for Hillary in 2016, Bond, who later became President of the NAACP, received the biggest applause during the Montage of People Who Died™ at the last Democratic National Convention. It’s hard not to feel heartened at this one change Obama incurred, even remembering the near-universal acclaim and upheaval that Obama inspired during his recent years as a rising star in the Democratic Party. It seemed right: After hundreds of years of white men in the White House, which was built by slaves, Obama’s presidency wasn’t just desirable after a disastrous economy and an unpopular war; it was significant. It’s easy to forget that, at the recent DNC, inspiring Black men dominated the proceedings with a message of hope, love, and acceptance, from Lenny Kravitz singing “Let Love Rule,” to Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, the very first Cultural Ambassador. Maybe the post-Obama influence extended far more than we realized, even if it was all too brief.

Video: Chappelle's Show/Comedy Central

WHEN THE UNIVERSE IS BEING A M@#$%*!^ING JERK

What do you do to stay friends?
By Kathleen Choe (actor/singer/writer)

I once had a conversation with someone who said, “The universe is an inherently flawed place run by idiots.  And they are my bitch.  And they should be your bitch too.”

I disagreed with him. I like to think of the universe as my friend. Like all friends, it’s not perfect and can occasionally be a jerk, or a prolapsed rectum (or in layman’s terms, an asshole). Yes, it is inherently flawed, and yes, there are some idiots in charge, but until someone finds a way into an alternate dimensional plane:

McCoy thought the goatee gave him character,
but other than that, the mirror universe?
Not such a great place to be.
 

Which honestly, might not be so great:

Two words: Upside Down.
 

We’re stuck being here.

And the universe has been a Jerk these past few weeks. A Real Class-A Gigantic Ass-faced Jerk.  And I’m furious at it.

And I have two choices.

1. Make the world my bitch. Demean it, scream at it, smack it down until I hurt it as badly as it’s hurt me. Laugh at it when I get my points in. Hit back twice as hard when it tries to take advantage of me. Live in a constant state of battle-mode and anxiety and anger at how unfair things are and let that exhaust me, until the universe is that way that it should be. 

I know it’s exhausting because I’ve done it. I still do sometimes. That’s fine because I’m human.

or

2. Know that it’s being a jerk right now. Acknowledge that I’m angry with it. Call it out on every occasion when it is being a jerk, not backing down when it gloats, not staying silent when it says or does something nonsensical.

 Keep speaking up, even when it tries to shout over me. Keep showing up.

Take care of myself and surround myself with people who are also trying a way to deal with it being an asshole. Help guide it to being the place that we want it to be. 

Choice two is harder. Choice two will not always win. Choice two can also be exhausting.

But Choice Two allows for two things: hope and happiness.

So, Universe. You’ve decided to be a Jerk right now. That’s unfortunate. But I’m not going anywhere, and there are a lot of other people like me. And you’re going to have to deal with us until you come out of whatever dark hole you seemed to have crawled into.

We’ll be waiting with open arms.

KATHLEEN CHOE is a NYC based actor, singer, and writer. www.www.kathleen-choe.com
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Chewing on Freedom: G. Dubs and Special Episodes

A ton of people, both Republicans and Democrats, really miss George W. Bush. But why?
By Erica Slutsky (Writer/Singer/Songwriter)

I don’t know if anyone under 30 knows this feeling now, but being a young Democrat in the early 2000s was like being the fan of a sports team that constantly lost despite great odds. There were a lot of television episodes and movies from that not-too-recent era that carried the unmistakable sentiment of “Rigged!” and most of them took the high road by not even showing then-President George W. Bush as a character (See: Recount). We felt like we were stuck with a President that we didn’t elect, and every excuse felt valid, from the missing ballots in Ohio and Florida, to the fact that the person controlling the ballots happened to be the brother of the President-Elect. Al Gore won the popular vote by a huge margin but lost the Electoral College by 0.5%, and John Kerry lost 49% of the popular vote. Trump’s win and his tax plan may hit millennials the hardest, but many of us over 30 had to deal with a very similar feeling of “It don’t make sense” for years until Nancy Pelosi took back the House midway through Bush’s second term. We did not get hot chocolate and free counseling.

Remember when Mr. Peanutbutter stumped for John Edwards? So full of hope.

Bush seemed like he could barely form sentences, let alone run a country, despite being a C student at Harvard and Yale who served in the National Guard, the second First Kid to become President, the first President to hold an MBA degree, and someone whose biggest non-government job was running a baseball team (yes, really). Writers were afraid of making W look bad, largely because he was a Southern gentleman who respected women and minorities. It seems insulting now to compare Trump to Bush, as I’ve heard way too many times to count from people who were also there. Today, the younger Bush is usually referenced in small, subtle ways (“Like you could grab a beer with him!”) So, when George W. Bush was portrayed fictionally in the moment, we got far more attempts to humanize a man, rather than portray him as the puppet of a vast Republican Axis of Suspicion or the architect of a useless, never-ending war. Even pre-9/11 responses to Bush like the Modern Humorist’s book My First Presidentiary took the obvious route, because very few people expected the outcome. Here’s a fun game: Try to guess how many TV episodes set in the future will feature a tyrannical President Barron Trump.

Image: My First Presidentiary

Chewing on Freedom: You're WHAT?!?!

What happens when a loved one is (gasp!) a Republican?
By Erica Slutsky (Writer/Singer/Songwriter)

There’s this great episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where gleefully offensive hero Larry David is allowed a hall pass to cheat on his wife. He gets seduced by Tony winner Cady Huffman (playing herself), but then sees a photo of George W. Bush on her table and realizes that he can’t sleep with her because she’s a Republican.

Skittishness about Republicanism has been around since the Reagan era’s Family Ties, which featured a lovable young Republican going against his hippie parents. But, in the twenty-first century, particularly after George W. Bush, there’s been a mainstream fictionalized discomfort (blue balls?) around the admission that anyone could be proudly conservative, particularly in comedy. It would be too easy to cite liberal writers, who are certainly free to express a point of view through their work. But the majority of states in the early twenty-first century put a Republican in the White House twice. Perhaps this result was more in spite of than because of Bush’s missteps.

Gerald and Jimmy at the bar. And you thought the “Land of Confusion” video was terrifying.