Crazytown

WE'RE ALL MAD HERE.

In this review: SPOILERS for the experience of seeing Then She Fell. You've been warned.
By Alisha Giampola (writer/performer)

I am a sucker for immersive theatre experiences. I loved Sleep No More. I want all of my future theatre experiences to involve snacks and/or alcoholic beverages and even slightly intense prolonged eye-contact. Perhaps because I know what it feels like to be on the actor's side of the fourth wall, I love shows that totally destroy that wall and ask the audience to step over the crumbled ruins of it and into the action. If Sleep No More offers a voyeuristic haunted house for guests to explore masked, unguided, and at will; Then She Fell is a much more intimate, playful, disorienting experience that you engage in alone but constantly accompanied by members of the cast as well as nurses and orderlies of the institution. Oh, did I mention that you'll be spending the evening in a Victorian mental hospital? 

Inspired by the works of Lewis Carroll and his real-life, possibly romantic relationship with the child Alice Liddell, Then She Fell is a theatre piece I have come to, rather typically, several years after it started getting rapturous reviews in the Times. Honestly, it fell under my radar for a while, and then when it popped onto my radar I had to wait to rationalize the ticket price (admittedly, not cheap, but then the experience is WORTH IT), which I'm glad I did because they have a closing date of April 30, 2017. They've extended before, but who knows? So if you want to definitely go see this amazing production, I recommend getting tickets now and seeing it this spring.

Knowing that you're seeing a wildly popular show that only sells 15 tickets a performance is intimidating. For most of it, you are being directly performed to. I spent several minutes sitting silently across from an actor who was a sort of non-literal representation of the White Rabbit, painting a white rose red with a tiny paintbrush, feeling a genuine stress that we wouldn't be done in time. I participated in a mad tea party, smashing my tea cup on the table with the White and Red Queens, Rabbit, and Hatter, and then sipping a deliciously brewed concoction that I had helped choose before being whisked away again for a bedtime story (and being literally tucked into a crisp, white bed). I watched two Alices dance through a mirrored glass, once from inside the Red Queen's luxurious apartment, and once from inside a sparkling fairy burrow, while being fed purple grapes by the White Queen. Later, one of the Alices had me hand her clothing after her bath, all while asking me questions about love. At the end of that scene, we were looking directly into each other's eyes between the bannister of a staircase and she queried if I had lived happily ever after with that first person, that first person I ever loved. When I laughed lightly and said "No," her face darkened abruptly, and she ran up the stairs in a huff, too fast for me to run after. 

After the show, my husband Daniel and I tucked ourselves into a nearby bar and over a nightcap excitedly exchanged stories of everything that had happened to us since we'd been split up. We had seen part of the show together. For a few scenes, like when the Red Queen spiraled into insanity with a bottle of pills in a locked ward, we had been the only two audience members watching. But once we were separated, Daniel was led off by the Mad Hatter, a redheaded chanteuse whom we'd watched dance on top of a wardrobe earlier in the evening, and was asked riddles. I was redirected into a room with a gramophone and instructed to open increasingly large books with bottles hidden inside as a Doctor concocted me a cocktail. Then he left me alone with a stack of letters to read and the voice from the gramophone reciting The Walrus and the Carpenter. I barely had time to skim the first letter before the White Rabbit retrieved me to come paint roses with him. Meanwhile, Daniel peeled and ate an orange with one of the Alices while I, somewhere else in the building, was watching the other Alice wrestle with the Red Queen. 

Like Sleep No More, this is dance theatre. Most of the scenes have a movement-heavy element driving them. Unlike Sleep No More, the experience feels tailor-made for you and you alone. You aren't eavesdropping on these people, they are inviting you to take part, have a sip, take a bite, answer a question. "Do you take dictation?" the actor playing Lewis Carroll asked me in a room that would have been a regular writer's study, except for the pools of water sinking into the floor in unexpected places. After I wrote his letter, he signed it, placed it in a bottle, and waded into the black water barefoot to send it off with all the others. The Doctor retrieved me and brought me upstairs to play a game of chess with him. I knew immediately that it was the chess game from Through The Looking Glass. He explained the entire sequence of moves to me, guiding me through playing Alice's white pawn, as if he was reading a particularly perplexing case study. At the end, he handed me a cup of tea, retrieved the ring of keys I'd been entrusted with during the performance (and encouraged to use on any lock I found), and suddenly orderlies began bringing the 14 other people of the audience, including Daniel, into the room where I sat. The show was over. I had been the only one, maybe, to play chess with the doctor. I definitely had been the only one to finish my stay in Wonderland with the chess game scene. 

As a long time lover of Lewis Carroll's Alice books, I was delighted to recognize so many moments from the stories and from the sad and strange real-life tale of Carroll and Alice. The show is a beautiful and beautifully sympathetic exploration of duality, sanity, reality, and the magic of childhood. At the beginning of the show, just as the audience members are starting to be whisked off by different actors to begin their own personalized journey through the piece, the Doctor offers a definition of liminality. From the Latin limin, meaning "threshold". We get our English word "lintel" from here. Liminality is the quality of ambiguity and disorientation experienced by participants in a ritual, usually magical or spiritual, that occurs midway through- before the participant has been changed completely by the ritual, but are no longer what they were before they began. The show attempts to make adolescent Alices of us all. Not quite big, not quite small, not quite having drunk all of the bottle yet, but definitely having taken a nice sip. Few shows have touched me and haunted me as much as this one has, and I am excited to see more from Third Rail Projects, who developed this and other immersive pieces, as theatre like this becomes more and more prolific and available. I look forward to the day when the idea of seeing a piece of theatre that isn't located in a repurposed warehouse space in Brooklyn is unusual. 

The only photo here that I actually took (after the show was over of course) of my "prescription" for the tea I chose during the Mad Tea Party and the stamped program I was given at the end of the show. The two other pictures in this article are press photos. The current company of Then She Fell can be found here.

 

ALISHA GIAMPOLA is an NYC based actor/teacher/writer who did gyre and gimble in the wabe.
EMAIL HER |  FACEBOOK | TWITTER | OTHER POSTS BY THIS AUTHOR

PORTRAIT OF A RUNNER AS A CRAZY MAN

Running for 26.2 miles when you've already run out of style.
By Owen Panettieri (playwright, lyricist)

 

A little over a month ago, I ran my third Disney World Marathon. I love this event. It's about the joy of the race with very little pressure to run a personal best time. I'm sure some people go in with that goal, but the race has so many character photo op spots built into the race that it's more about enjoying yourself as you run than it is about getting through it as fast as possible. 

I finally looked at my race pictures and I think they're hilarious. I basically look more like Little Edie strolling through the most magical place on Earth, waving at strangers and eating crunchy M&M's, than I do someone whose on mile 23 of a 26.2 mile run. Let's dissect my outfit and I'll explain what went into these strong fashion choices. But before I start, I have to say it was hella cold in Orlando the day of the marathon. The rest of the week was pretty nice, there were even several undeniably warm days. But there was awful weather the day before (lightning canceled the half-marathon that was supposed to take place Saturday morning) and then the temperature PLUNGED. When we started the race on Sunday morning it was not even 40 degrees outside. The irony here was that even though it was winter in NYC I had waited to do all my long training runs on days where the temperature spiked above 50 degrees in NYC. So here I was in what was supposed to be sunny and warm Florida and I would be running in weather that was significantly colder than what I was used to and what I planned to wear would simply not be sufficient to keep me warm for a 5 hour run. I foolishly didn't even pack a warmer option with me, so I had to improvise.

OLYMPIC "COVERAGE" 2016

Who gets the gold in Synchronized Male Objectification?
By Alisha Giampola (Writer/Performer)

So, we've all been watching the Olympics, right? 

Right?

RIGHT?!

DEAR GOD AM I RIGHT?!!!

Yes. We're all watching the Olympics, for many assorted excellent reasons. And today we continue our highly rigorous coverage of the Olympics with a fun interactive way to participate in these summer games! If you've been bitten by the Olympic bug and want to feel involved in Team USA, may I suggest something I've just invented called the Make It Through Your Week In NYC Olympics? Because isn't living in NYC basically like getting through some kind of crazy race every single day? There are plenty of events to compete in- something for everyone really. 

So now, the EVENTS OF THE 2016 NYC OLYMPICS (please feel free to let the judges know when you've completed each challenge, as they are all ignoring everyone around them by reading articles on their phones and won't look up unless tapped aggressively on the shoulder):

THE SUBWAY 

image via.

~ Running and catching the train just as the doors are closing but not so they've closed so far that you cause them to stop and open again, thereby delaying the train's departure. 

~ Getting off your first train and walking across the platform and stepping directly onto your next train with no pausing.

~ Noticing that the empty car you’re about to get into smells like a dead body and managing to run to the next car before the train pulls away. 
        EXTRA POINTS: Warning someone else as you’re running to said next car.
        EXTRA EXTRA POINTS: That person is attractive and you strike up a conversation and end up exchanging phone numbers.

~ Finding a seat during morning commute against the wall, dozing off, but automatically waking up just as the train pulls into your stop.

~ Not being 100% sure where the stairs are in the station you’re headed to are located, but still choosing the exact right train car to get into so you can step directly off and into the stairwell.
        EXTRA POINTS: Doing this twice in a row.

~ Weekend Service Change Challenge! Travel between a point in Brooklyn to a point in Way Upper Manhattan in less than 2 hours and using a maximum of four transfers.

THE SIDEWALK

image via.

~ Noticing a huge crowd of tourists at an intersection waiting for the light to change, circumventing the entire group and crossing the street ahead of them in between traffic.

~ Sensing a silent bike messenger going in the wrong direction as you’re about to cross the street and saving the life of the person walking next to you by throwing your arm out, mom-style.

~ Navigating a very slow, crowded, narrow sidewalk that is completely closed in with construction scaffolding by basically pretending that you are in a video game and you have to slip in between everyone else until you’ve escaped the bottleneck.
        EXTRA POINTS: Not touching anyone.
        EXTRA EXTRA POINTS: Making someone feel bad by sighing really loudly as you pass them.

~ Finding a $20.

~ Staring down a cat-caller until they stop in shame.
        EXTRA POINTS: Doing this on behalf of someone else.

~ Get from laundromat to the front door of your 5th floor walkup while (for each additional challenge +10 points): carrying a 20 lb bag of laundry
    + carrying bag of groceries (including milk and eggs)
    + holding a bottle of wine
    + toting a computer bag
    + in heels
    + walking a dog

THE WEATHER

image via.

~ Use an umbrella on the sidewalk in a rainstorm, never smashing into anyone else’s umbrellas, lifting or lowering yours in order to pass people, having your umbrella turn completely inside out just as you’re about to arrive at your destination, chuck it in trash just outside the door and walk in, staying 90% dry.
        EXTRA POINTS: Have dry shoes and/or socks in bag to change into.

~ Get from one side of Broadway to the other at the intersection of 72nd street less than 24 hours after a blizzard without falling into a puddle of slush, slipping on black ice, or having to go more than half a block out of your way.

~ Wait for train on steps between station and street level during a heat wave. When you hear the train approach, run down stairs, swipe Metrocard in one try, and dash onto train, thereby avoiding sweating underground for fifteen minutes. 

THE RESTAURANT

image via.

~ Walk right in, know the host, get seated immediately, share joke with bartender as you walk by.
        EXTRA POINTS: Do this in front of someone you’d like to impress.

~ Split check at friend’s birthday party 17 ways using pen from bottom of your purse on back of bill, listing each credit card and exact amount to charge in order.

~ Realize restaurant only takes cash. Excuse self to use restroom, bolt to nearest bodega, use ATM to withdraw cash, also go to restroom, and return to table before cocktails arrive. 

THE BATHROOM

image via.

~ Within a ten-block-radius of anywhere in Manhattan, know or quickly identify at least 2 places in which you could use the restroom without having to pay for anything.

~ Enter a bar, look around, smile charmingly, pick up phone and convincingly conduct fake conversation until bathroom is located, use bathroom and exit without being accosted by host or bartender.

~ Improvise toilet paper in a TP-less bathroom stall out of other things you can find in there, or in your purse.
        POSSIBILITIES: seat liners, a thin maxi pad, Starbucks napkins, face wipes.

APARTMENT LIFE and OTHER ASSORTED TASKS

image via.

~ Use other people’s WiFi for more than a year without getting caught or having a lapse in service.

~ Hear small noise while asleep in bed, turn on lights to realize it is a GIANT FUCKING FLYING COCKROACH, go into total beast mode and MURDER IT WITH A SHOE. Dispose of entire shoe/dead cockroach situation in sealed garbage bag immediately. Buy new shoes tomorrow as reward for facing such a horror.
        EXTRA POINTS: Somehow manage to lift shoe and flush dead cockroach down toilet. Never sleep again.

~ Order food while walking home from the train and time it just so that by the time you get inside, change your clothes, get Netflix started and a bottle of wine open, the delivery guy has arrived.

~ Your phone is at 3% and you manage to keep it there by closing apps/dimming the screen/turning off location services/etc for the next two hours until you can find a plug/charger.

~ Go to post office on a break at work and actually manage to mail package and return to work during time allotted for break rather than have to give up and never mail package and simply take it with you the next time you are in the same state as the person you were planning on mailing it to because it is literally easier to fly there yourself than go to the post office.

~ Make yourself a meal out of only the things remaining in your fridge, which are as follows:
        Half an avocado.
        A small tupperware of plain rice from leftover Chinese food.
        Salad dressing.
        Maraschino cherries.

 * * * * * * * * 

CONGRATULATIONS! You have successfully completed the 2016 NYC Olympics! You should receive your fully compostable artisanal medal by certified mail in 12-17 business days between 8am and 3pm. If you do not receive it during that time period, please call Time Warner Cable, the official sponsor of the 2016 NYC Olympics! 

Michael Phelps' angry face is ready for SHOWTIME!!!!  

 

ALISHA GIAMPOLA is an NYC based actor/teacher/writer who currently holds the world record in Convincinly Pretending To Talk On The Phone To Avoid Interaction With People On The Sidewalk. 
EMAIL HER |  FACEBOOK | TWITTER | OTHER POSTS BY THIS AUTHOR

BEN FRANKLIN: OUR MOST MUSICAL FOUNDING FATHER

Like you needed more reasons to love this guy.
By Tom Rizzuto

The Founding Fathers loved music. This shouldn't be that surprising. Everybody loves music. They attended concerts, sang drinking songs, and a bunch of them even played instruments. However, one of these guys took his musical activities further than the rest.

All about the Benjamins indeed.

You can be forgiven if you never learned the extent of Ben Franklin's musical resume. After all, Franklin did a lot of stuff. After your history teachers got through the printing, writing, ambassadorship, inventing, the whole kite situation and The Revolutionary War, they probably didn't have much time for anything else. If you're lucky, you might have heard something about a "Glass Harmonica" but that was probably the extent of it.

THE GAYS HAVE GONE VIRAL: Part 5

It's time for crazytownblog's fifth annual look at the best new LGBT shows on the interwebs. 

by David Davila (writer of all kinds of things)

So yay for gays!!! This year it was actually hard narrowing down which shows I would choose to include in the fifth annual Gay Web Series blog. Gays are definitely more accepted everywhere in the US except for North Carolina (shout out to Shakina Nayfack for taking the crusade there), and are appearing more and more on TV little by little, though we have no official TV shows dedicated specifically to gay characters. Still that could change any day, and we must keep fighting the fight!

I certainly enjoyed this year's batch of new gay shows, and was delighted to discover a whole crop of Asian gay shows that have been banned in China - especially because I'm particularly fond of Asian men. Though in a turn reminiscent of North Carolina, the Chinese are not about the gays - at least not yet. They've banned these shows from the internet. Sucks to be gay in China. 

Here are my picks for the best new gay shows in 2016:

THE GAY & WONDROUS LIFE OF CALEB GALLO

Holy crap! Brian Jordan Alvarez is a comic genius! After his remarkable turn in last year's list-maker, GO-GO-BOY INTERRUPTED he makes the list again with this ready-for-prime-time-television half hour sitcom, THE GAY & WONDROUS LIFE OF CALEB GALLO. I know nothing about this kid, but I look forward to following his career! Check out this zany comedy about a young dude in L.A. and his really wacky friends. It will bring you much joy! Seriously though... this could be on the CW... somebody should pick this up pronto.

 

PAPER BOYS

I told you all about Paper Boys last summer, so you might feel like it was on last year's list, but I published my list right before I discovered this indie gem. A gorgeous wanna-be cartoonist moves in with his straight best friend in San Francisco and quickly discovers that anything he draws in his magic friendship journal will come true. Check it out if you haven't yet:

 

COUNTER ATTACK

When a nerdy, loser, alleged straight guy's girlfriend leaves him for a rich playboy who is rumored to be gay, the nerd decides to get revenge by making the rich boy fall in love with him. This ridiculous, cheesy, over-the-top, web soap opera was banned in China with a bunch of other hot gay shows. Check out the edited, safe-for-work version with subtitles below. Warning... you won't be able to stop watching till you've finished the entire thing. You'll have to dig a little deeper if you want to see the cut sex-scenes. 

 

THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON ON TELEVISION TODAY

It's not who you think...or maybe it is.
By Jennifer Anderson (Actor/Singer/TV addict)

Crazytown, there’s a lot going on in the world today  ("No shit, Jen.") There are a lot of people on a lot of different platforms shouting a lot of different opinions on how the world should be run. Some of those opinions make sense to us. Some of them drive us crazy. Some of them make us want to cry. Some of them make us want to take action, and make the world we live in a better place.

The following clip is from the April 27th episode of “Inside Amy Schumer,”

Inside Amy Schumer

 
The week before? Amy tackled women's healthcare in the United States:

Inside Amy Schumer

 
It’s no secret that I think Amy Schumer is one of the most badass ladies in entertainment right now. She never ceases to make me cackle every Wednesday night. But it is with these last two episodes that I realized just how important she truly is. Not since Jon Stewart or Steven Colbert have we had a voice that can so brilliantly and hilariously address major issues in this country. Whether or not you agree with her stance, you cannot deny that she uses her status, talent, and humor to create real conversations about some very serious subject matter. She makes me want to take action, and make the world we live in a better place.

I can't wait to see what she does next week.

JENNIFER ANDERSON is an actor and singer living in Brooklyn. She loves when Amy gets political, however this is her favorite sketch. www.jenniferjanderson.com
EMAIL HIM/HER |  FACEBOOK | TWITTER | OTHER POSTS BY THIS AUTHOR

PRINCE

By Alisha Giampola (Writer/Performer)

You guys, it's been a week since Prince died and the entire world is far from being over the grieving process. I know I'll be showing my age here (way over 20, but definitely under 40) when I reveal you my first conscious memory of exposure to a Prince song:  

Oh Pretty Woman, just your usual rags-to-riches rom-com about a prostitute with fantastic oral hygiene. This scene is by far the one I remember most from my childhood; coming in a close second of course is "Big mistake. Big. HUGE." (I have no idea how old I was when I managed to see this movie, but I'm 100% sure I wasn't yet a teenager). Looking back, Pretty Woman is delightfully tame in comparison with the actual music video for Prince's Kiss:

Oh, former artist formerly known as Prince. We all loved you. You reached across boundaries and borders and managed to unite the musical tastes of both drag queens and their conservative, guitar-playing fathers. You will be sorely, sorely missed. 

 

ALISHA GIAMPOLA is an NYC based actor/teacher/writer who, for breakfast, had starfish and coffee and maple syrup and jam.  
EMAIL HER |  FACEBOOK | TWITTER | OTHER POSTS BY THIS AUTHOR

10 REASONS ASIAN MEN ARE THE HOTTEST

There is an incorrect stereotype in American media that Asian men are not hot - that is false...

by David Davila (playwright / songwriter)

I have always appreciated the beauty of Asian men, however Western Media has never agreed with me. It's time for that to end!

HERE ARE 10 REASONS WHY:

Reason #1: STEVEN YUEN - The Walking Dead star is one of only a handful of famous Asian-American men... probably because he's so dreamy, but come on America there are thousands of famous American white guys we can do better for our Asian-American brothers!

Reason #2: HARRY SHUM JR - The Glee star is a hunk and a half... hubba hubba... can't wait to watch his new show on Netflix

Reason #3: CONRAD RICAMORA - Well I've had a secret crush on this guy for years but now that How to Get Away with Murder is a monster hit everyone is finding out about him. I guess the secret is out! 

Reason #4: VINCENT RODRIGUEZ III - He plays the heart-throb Josh Chan on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and the man of my dreams, in my dreams.

Reason #5: GODFREY GAO - This CITY OF BONES star is so man-crush worthy! I mean... right??????????

THAT TIME WHEN YOUR FAVORITE BAND...

...blows you the hell away.
By Jennifer Anderson (Actor/Singer/Mutemathematician)

This past week I got to do something I've been waiting 10 years to do: See my favorite band, Mutemath, in concert. It was worth the 10 year wait. It was worth standing for hours at Terminal 5. It was worth listening to all the douchebags talk about how New Jersey is the last place for Rock n' Roll. The experience was more than I could ever put into words, so I'll just present the following video of my favorite part of the concert. Ladies and gentlemen of Crazytown, here's Mutemath drummer Darren King using the audience as an instrument. Enjoy!

 

 

 JENNIFER ANDERSON is an actor and singer living in Brooklyn. She hopes to one day be a good enough musician to be able to use audience members as instruments. www.jenniferjanderson.com
EMAIL HIM/HER |  FACEBOOK | TWITTER | OTHER POSTS BY THIS AUTHOR

DEDICATED TO ALL THE SINGLE LADIES FROM THIS MARRIED WOMAN

 

(Me, when I was single, my teddy bear Fred that I've head since I was 4, in my 3 foot tall Chinatown room)

By Maya Contreras (Writer, Playwright, Actor)

Excerpt from 'The Him Book' by Maya Contreras

Moses traversed the desert for forty years before he was within

sight of the Promised Land. Forty years in a desert with a few companions

who were none too happy about sour water, a lack of food, and were

wondering why in the world they chose to follow this guy around. Even

God was annoyed with him, frustrated that Moses couldn't properly

follow instructions on how to procure water from a rock.

Mohammed grew up in poverty and was rumored to be illiterate,

but he was said to have been hard-working, faithful, and trustworthy. He

attracted an older, wise woman by the name of Khadijah, to whom he

was married for the duration of his life. When he was in need of some

quiet time, he retreated to a cave for R&R (Rest and Revelation) and the

angel Gabriel unexpectedly swung by to drop some heavenly knowledge

on him. While Mohammed was a little intimidated by the great

responsibility he would now have, Khadijah, ever the strong and loving

wife, encouraged him to be strong and righteous and accept the

awesome gifts that had been bestowed upon him. After Khadijah died,

however, Mohammed broke Elizabeth Taylor's matrimony record by

marrying no less than nine more times.