Crazytown

AN AFFIRMATION FOR MEN SEEKING COMPANIONSHIP

I go through cycles with online dating, periods where I am more active and lengths of time when I'd rather be secluded. All of the single women I know - and I suspect this transcends gender and relationship status - know what it means to be confronted with unenlightened sexuality. Unsolicited propositions from men I don't know and the derogatory assumptions they make about me despite the clarity of my intent can be damaging no matter how I may brace myself, rework their words into humor, or dismiss the ignorance in their motives. I do not take my womanhood in stride, and no one should feel she has to. This is an affirmation for all men seeking companionship.
by Liz Richards (writer)

Honor yourself. 

Lead with love and perceptivity.

 

Honor your sex.

Treat your body with love as you honor the joyful sensations it brings to you.

 

Honor balance.

Know that what you take will be given back by will or by natural order, and what you put into the world will determine your experience.

 

 

Honor your feminine.

Be soft and allow your intuition to lead you in grace. 

 

Honor your masculine.

Use your power to inspire. Let your energy be present. Listen always.

 

Honor your loneliness.

Take time to cultivate solitude to affirm the person you are. Do not yield to insecurities and self-doubts, but do acknowledge them. Your psyche knows what you want and what you need. Do listen. 

 

Honor reciprocity. 

Only take what you can digest, only serve what you can offer. View interaction not as a game, this way you will lose as often as you win. Be prepared instead to take delight in each experience for what it is - a veneration and reverent integration of two selves.  

 

Honor her.

Know that she has also gone through this process. She too has come out the other side of heartbreak and degradation time and again and she too has an equal capacity for cynicism and serenity. She too has known passion as well as she has known complacency, and she too has an intent worthy of respect. How you interact with her will influence the cycle.

 

 Honor life. 

Our emotion, our intellect, our communication, and our sexuality are intimately connected. If one is injured, all are weakened. Live from joy. 

 

Do good. Be good. Celebrate the good in every interaction. 

 

*Paintings in this post are by Georgia O'Keeffe. See the source for details and for more artwork.

 

A FELLOW OF...

I take photographs from the internet and then write short stories about them!

By Paul Pakler (Actor, Writer)

(Photograph from Cvlt Nation)

        “Oh wow, you’re reading Infinite Jest! It’s so great. Seriously. It’s probably my favorite book^[1].

…

        “Yeah, I mean, it’s so dense. Like, there’s new stuff you find every time you reread it. Like, with my most recent rereading, I was only focusing on the way David Foster Wallace structured the story into fractals – specifically the Sierpinski Triangle.

Silence.

        “So, where are you at in it?”

…

        “Oh wow, yeah, the AA stuff is my favorite. When you’re reading it, it’s like you’re in AA. The details are so true.”

…

        “No, I’ve never been to AA.”

…

        “Have you ever read any of his non-fiction stuff?”

…

        “You have to read it! It’s so great. I recommend David Foster Wallace’s nonfiction to everyone. Like, I hate sports, but his writing on tennis?!!!!!!!! Wow. I feel like I could, like, play tennis after reading it. Like I’m Hal Incandenza!

        “David Foster Wallace is like Mozart. It’s like he’s Mozart, and Jonathan Franzen is his Salieri.

…

        “Franzen’s alright, but he’s a little prosaic. Or, like, you can feel him trying to show you how smart he is.”

…

        “Oh, no, I haven’t actually read any Franzen. Uh…I did read review of one of his books in The New Yorker, or maybe it was Buzzfeed...? Anyway, they did not like it.”

Silence.

        “You know what my favorite part about Infinite Jest is?”

…

        “Whenever you see other people reading it, it’s like you’re in a club. Like, I don’t know you, but I feel like we probably have tons in common, and we’d end up being fast friends or something, you know?”

…

        “Oh, sure, go get a refill. Only 20 more minutes until the Year of the Chewable Ambien Tab!”

…

        “Oh, it’s just a lyric from a Decemberists’ song. It’s an allusion to Infinite Jest.”

…

        “Okay, well, maybe I’ll bump into you at midnight...”

Silence.

        “Happy New Year...”

 

        [1] Paul is legally required to use a footnote in a story about David Foster Wallace. Here it is.

PAUL PAKLER is an actor and writer living in New York City.
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THE THREE TIMES YOU ACTUALLY MEAN TO TYPE "DUCKING" IN A TEXT MESSAGE

Finally, autocorrect is correct.
By Jennifer Anderson (Actor/Singer/Super intelligent)

Autocorrect can either be a savior….

 

Or a curse.

But let’s be real for a moment here, Crazytowners. Perhaps the most frustrating presumption that autocorrect makes is that we aren’t all a bunch of sailors on shore leave, and for some odd reason we mean to type “ducking” in nearly every single text message we ever send to anyone, sometimes several times in one sentence.

GO AHEAD, EMBARRASS YOURSELF

 

(my love for Charlie Chaplin is real)

What have you got to lose?

By Maya Contreras (Writer, Playwright, Actor)

My husband has said to me on several occasions, ‘you really don’t care what people think about you do you?’ While that might seem discourtesy, it was statement of admiration (it's also evidenced by this, this, and this). I was laughing loudly with the barista at my favorite coffee shop. Apparently a few people were irked much to my husband’s chagrin. “Well, it’s not a library.” I mentioned to him as I sipped my coffee.

My husband, raised by educators, grew up in a world of polite manners and obligations. Artists on the other hand raised me. Not to say we didn’t have manners, but we had no problem bursting into a room loudly talking full stop or eating in bed, something that still perplexes my husband.

“Are you really going to eat that cake in bed?” He has asked me last weekend.

“Of course!” I responded. “It combines three of my favorite things: this bed, this cake and you.” That did make him smile. In rare circumstances I can be charming.

But when he mentions “you really don’t care what people think about you do you?” I must confess, “No.” But there is a caveat to that: it doesn’t mean I don’t embarrass myself on a regular basis and I’m OK with that.

I think if you are an artist, a writer, actor, painter, etc. you have to be OK with embarrassing yourself. Personally I think you should be OK with it whether you’re an artist or not. If you are embarrassing yourself it’s probably because you are putting yourself out there. If you’re an artist “putting yourself out there” is just as important as the act of creating. Any actor knows that making chicken sounds or awkward warm up drills in front of her fellow actors is just par for the course. Many of us have had to undressed in front of the other, and many of us have had a costume designer say “So… do you think you’re going to lose a few pounds before the show or do you want me to let this out a little?” (No? Is that just me?)

I will say many of the times that I have embarrassed myself have been some of the funniest moments of my life. Here are a few:

1. When I was 19 I saw Bill Murray eating at a restaurant with some of his friends. I was on tour with my band at the time. Without thinking I ran into the restaurant (much to my horror to this day) and said something to the effect of “I’m sorry I know you’re eating! I just want to say…” I pretty much heaped every bit of praise on him as the waiter apologized to Mr. Murray for my presence. Bill Murray was not fazed at all. He smiled, thanked me and asked “What are you doing in Tampa?” I told him I was playing with my band, “Do you have any of your bands music?” I did. I handed him our record. He laughed, “Kids are listening to records again? Luckily I still have my record player. I’ll listen to this when I get home.” Yes. Bill Murray is the coolest. And yes, I am still embarrassed that I did that.

 

IF YOU’RE REALLY GOING TO HATE VALENTINE’S DAY, DO IT RIGHT

All you haters need to step your game up for next year, and I’m going to help.
By Tom Rizzuto

Do you know why I wear green to work every Valentine’s Day? It’s the same reason I was so careful not to wear any red or blue that time I drove through South Central, Los Angeles.

You can’t win, on V-Day. If you don’t wear red, you get accused of not being in the spirit. But, if you do wear red, you make enemies.

This pretty much sums up the first ten years of my romantic history.

“You know it’s a Hallmark holiday, right?” they say, as they smugly heat up their single-serving soup bowls in the break room microwave. “Don’t rub your happiness in our faces!” they yell, as they grit their teeth at every heart shaped box they scroll past on Facebook.

I implore you Valentine’s Day haters, if you haven’t yet succumbed to the urge to slam you laptop shut and curse my fowl name, stay with me. Unclench those fists. Open those sad eyes. Wipe the 75% discounted chocolate from that forlorn mouth. I do not come to you with ill will. I am here to help.

You see, my lone wolves…my strong, independent ladies…my steadfast, sovereign gentlemen, I would never tell you not to criticize this or any holiday! But we all know that the Hallmark line, while a valid point, is played out. It falls on deaf ears. It wilts, withers and tumbles to the ground like so many overpriced roses on the bedroom floors of the neglectful girlfriends of America.

There are plenty of good reasons to criticize, mock, and malign Valentines Day. Though, as I too scroll through Facebook and Twitter I see that none of you seem to be aware of them.

I hope that you all find love, my friends. But, if this year is not your year, and come next February the 14^th, you once again find yourself back on the offensive, I want you to be prepared to hit them with everything you got!

Never bring an arrow to a gunfight.

So if you’re ready to step your hate game up to the next level…read on.

VALENTINES FROM YOUR JERK BOYFRIEND

Hey girl. 
By Alisha Giampola (Writer/Performer)

There was a time when I wished the brooding, cape-wearing dudes of my favorite novels would hit me up on my Nokia 5110 (that time, of course, was 1999). But you know what? Those guys were jerks. So Happy Vday from your favorite jerks of classic literature, and me of course (and also Jane Austen, Daphne du Maurier, Shakespeare, Tennessee Williams, Gaston Leroux, and the Brontës). 

Do 3 pages of being pretty nice and having a great house make up for 300 pages of being kind of a dick? I definitely used to think so.

 

The amount you are into Edward Rochester is directly proportional to the amount of daddy issues you have.

 

 

DATING TIPS FOR THE POST-APOCALYPTIC RELATIONSHIP

How to choose the right partner for the apocalypse.... The series continues!
-By Leah Bonnema (Stand-Up Comic)

It's been a little while but we are back! I've been writing the 'Dating Tips For The Post-Apocalyptic Relationship'  series on and off over the past couple of years. It started off as a blog about how to keep a relationship together and slowly moved into making sure you had the right person to help you get through the apocalypse.

The Perfect 'Pocalyptic Pair!

I thought that as Valentine's Day is fast approaching it's the perfect time for a DTFTPAR rebirth. Even if a flood, zombies, the plague, WWIII, etc doesn't come in our lifetime, life itself is an exciting obstacle course for you and your loved one to maneuver together. It's always good to make sure you have the right person with you!

Please check out my first installments of TIPS: Grown Accustomed To Your Stink Pt 1(I would definitely have a go at this one if you have the time), I Love You But I Might Kill You pt 2, I Took A Dump In Your Hat pt 3 and a bonus for when you're losing it!

HOW TO DATE YOUR FRIENDS

Six different ways to "date" your friends in a totally platonic kind of way. A mate date! (Like, British "mate".)
By Kat Flynn (Actor) 

I'm really into stationery. I love the feeling of a hand-written letter or a sweet card through the post. This year I decided to make my own Valentine cards. I'm pretty proud of them.

Anyway, one day as I was on Pinterest and I came across these "Mommy play-date cards". They're like calling cards for mothers to give to other mothers so their children can play together. No. I'm not making this up. I thought it was pretty genius. I wanted that! Only, I'm not a mother. I just like the idea of having a play date with my friends! But, in a totally platonic, no romantic feelings, kind of way. And no, it's not a euphemism! Well, since living here I have enjoyed meeting people. Some have become my really good friends! So, why can't it be like dating? If you really think about it, making friends is kind of like platonic dating. Yeah! Let's dive into the six ways I have been able to date my friends! 

THE COFFEE DATE

Vanilla latte please! I like the coffee date because I like coffee! Haha. It gives me that relaxed Sunday morning feeling. I'm instantly relaxed. Also, you're not always restricted to just coffee. I've been to so many wonderful cafes, and it sometimes comes with cake! Yummy. It's also a good one because there's usually a nice couch, or gorgeous seating. It's just a good one all around. This one could also be a pub date, since the pub is a huge part of the British culture. Whichever works!

THE PLAY DATE

I love, love, LOVE the play date! This could be anything from going swimming, taking a yoga class together, going bowling, or even a painting class. YOU name it. This one's it! One day, a friend and I just wandered through the town together. Haha. You wouldn't think it'd be fun, but I had a hoot! This one's definitely a fave!

THE MOMMY DATE

This is where you're basically auditioning to be your friends next babysitter. KIDDING! I think. I'm not at the age where I could have a baby and my parents wouldn't get mad. YIKES! Am-I-right?! I've joined my mommy friends to playgrounds, restaurants, a casual walk through the park, anything they wanted to do, really. The playground was my fave. We got to play in the ball pit! So much fun!

THE BRUNCH DATE

Oh how I miss you, America! No one does brunch the way the we do! I'm still kind of working on this one. The closest I've actually come to a brunch date was going to a cake shop. CAKE FOR BREAKFAST?! Yes, please! So, because of that one time I had cake for breakfast, I made "The Brunch Date" a contender. I have heard, however, that brunch in London is becoming a thing, so maybe the north will catch up! Woot, woot! CAKE & BOOZE FOR BREAKFAST!

THE LUNCH DATE

I do this one, all the time! All the time! It's up there with play-dates as my favourite. Pretty darn close. Lunch is THE BEST mate date. The best! It's in the middle of the day, so even in winter, if you choose a restaurant with lots of windows, you're almost guaranteed natural light. It breaks up your day. The endless options of sandwiches. The super mega casualness of it. I seriously love lunch. If you're a friend of mine, we've probably will have had lunch together. Most definitely. Did I mention I loved lunch dates? I love them. 

THE DINNER DATE

This one is the crème de la crème of friend dates. For me, dinner is extremely intimate. I like keeping dinner dates for my man, family, groups, business, or really, really, really close friends. The kind of friends you call to speak for only 10 minutes that surprisingly turned into 2 hours. (Seriously? How does that happen?!) Yep, those friends.

So, yeah, I think it's time to make some plans with my pals. Have a great weekend! (How is January already over?!) 

 XOXO

Image source: Me! I made that! :)

KAT FLYNN is an American Expat living & working in Great Britain. www.katflynn.com
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RIDE THE MAGIC TIME MACHINE!!!

Monday at 7pm I return to the historic Beechman Theatre in Times Square with a bevy of amazing singers from Broadway and NY Cabaret and a couple of brilliant performers making their NYC debuts!!!

by David Davila (song-writer)

Yes... for those of you itching to hear some awesome jams you've got your chance coming up on Monday! I'll be back at the Beechman with all the usual suspects bringing you some some brand new songs from a new piece I'm working on called THE MAGIC TIME MACHINE, plus some audience faves from my shows MANUEL VS THE STATUE OF LIBERTY, VOX POP, ADAN Y JULIO, and #52SONGS!!!

Y'all it's gonna be SICK! We had our sitzprobe yesterday and the band is outrageously good. I. LITERALLY. CAN'T. EVEN.

My level of CAN'T is EVEN.

The cast is sick!!! Featuring a bunch of awesome kidos from WICKED (I'm not sure why all my friends are in WICKED, but it just happens that way) and the cast of MANUEL VS STATUE!!!! We've got Ruby Rakos, Desi Oakley, Daniel Quadrino, Michael McCorry Rose, Charles Barksdale, Jose Sepulveda, Brendan Daugherty, Liz Lark Brown, Darryl Jovan Williams, Steph Nash, Lillian Andrea DeLeon, Emilie Mirvis, Gil Perez-Abraham, Tami Dahbura, Michelle Caniglia, Shakina Nayfack, Joshua Gonzales, and Jackson Perrin.

THE MAGIC TIME MACHINE is all about revisiting mistakes you may have made twice and asking ourselves if we can learn to never make them again. I had an ex who I continually slept with and we kept falling into the same patterns over and over. If you've ever slept with an ex... you know what I'm talking about... and this show is FOR YOU!!!!

Here's a preview of something you might here Monday:

 

Eeeeeeek I can hardly hold my excitement!!!! Can't wait to see y'all there!!!!! 

GET YOUR TICKETS HERE!!!!!

AND RIDE THIS MAGIC TIME MACHINE Y'ALL!!!!!!

LET'S BE REAL. WE ALL KNOW THAT BARS SUCK.

A small list of reasons why you'll have fun at the bar... and why they're lies. 
By Brandon Rizzuto, writer and TV show Post Coordinator

I have a confession that as a 23 year old guy, living in a generation that’s keeping cheap wine in business, isn’t supposed to admit: I hate bars. Why? Because bars suck. That’s right I said it. It needed to be said. I suspect that most people feel this way, but won’t admit it because TV, movies, and dorm parties have convinced us that alcohol is synonymous with fun. No one seems to acknowledge that we all know that bars are too loud, too expensive, and too much pressure to have a good time. For the past year, I have gone to bars every Friday with the same group of friends and below is a list of reasons they’ve used to convince me that I’ll have fun (and why they’re all lies).