Crazytown

SAINT PATTY'S DAY OF BAD CHOICES

My second favorite holiday is showing its weak points...
by Alex Syiek (Writer/Performer/Grog Drinker)

This past Friday, I noticed something strange. I think St. Patrick's Day might be the only holiday where the bars get progressively more empty as the day goes on. I mean, you can't blame people for rolling out of bed into their green beer and corned beef hash and cabbage. That slop is delicious. But for a person who happened to venture out into the city at 9 PM, the streets were surprisingly quiet for a Friday night in midtown.

On the other hand, the subways are basically the waiting room for extras on the Jerry Springer Show. So many private arguments are had between couples/best friends/total strangers, and most of them are peppered with unintelligible blather or missed left hooks.

Nevertheless, a great time was had by all (I hope), and a horrible Saturday morning on the bathroom floor was also had. In honor of bad choices and drunken memories, here's a traditional Irish bar shanty to slur along to this unfortunate Monday morning.

I'd say, maybe, 70% is for my grog.

STUPID PEOPLE

Stupid, stupid people everywhere...
by Alex Syiek (Writer/Performer)

In doing some recent research for a musical I'm writing, I found some amusing stories about people who died while reaching beyond human limits. Pretty fun stuff. Thought I would share the anecdotes I like the most.

1. Franz Reichelt

People aren't supposed to fly. However, in 1912, Franz Reichelt confidently leapt from the Eiffel Tower in his homemade “flying suit” and plummeted swiftly to his death. In a fortunate turn of events, the event was caught on film, so you can see it today on YouTube! Morbid, but humorous.

2. Chicken Tragedy

And in 1995, a chicken fell down a well in Egypt. A farmer went down to retrieve it, but ended up drowning. One by one, three other members of his family, and two other townspeople drowned in service of retrieving the chicken. They later pulled up all the dead bodies. And one living chicken.

3. Horace Hunley

In an effort to explore the ocean depths, Horace Hunley created the submarine in 1863. His first effort confined five sailors to a watery grave. Not content with manslaughter, he boarded the next ship himself, adding another poor unfortunate soul to Davy Jones’ locker.

4. Alexander Bogdanov

In 1928, Alexander Bogdanov thought that the secret to eternal life lay in blood transfusions. He happily experimented on himself, but he really hit his stride when he put the blood of a malaria patient into his system. He died, of course. The patient lived.

Don't be like these people! Think before acting, and remember, we're all just human.

SINGING PRESIDENTS!

Don't think about the current POTUS, there's plenty more out there.
by Alex Syiek (Writer/Performer)

Happy President's Day everyone! As we enjoy this day off from our worries, and celebrate the greatest office in the world, remember, we don't have to respect our current president, when there are plenty of others in the past to look back fondly on. And many of them are in musicals! Yep, let's look at the greatest musical moments of the American presidency in our history!

1. 1776 (John Adams and Thomas Jefferson)
In our first example, we have two future presidents in one show! 1776 tells of the battle to draft the Declaration of Independence in balmy Philadelphia many moons ago. Here are the two soon to be Commander-in-Chiefs along with Ben Franklin from the movie of 1776.

2. Bloody, Bloody Andrew Jackson (well, Andrew Jackson)
In one of my favorite musicals, the Jacksonator tears apart traditional American politics for his unique brand of populism to forge a new path for our country. Seems a little too on the nose in our current day and age, and I think the show could have run a lot longer had it opened this season. Rock out for a bit.

3. Assassins (Too Many to Count)
In another of my favorite musicals, presidential assassins (and wannabe assassins) interact with each other and the POTi they are known for slaying. In this clip, we see the American public react to hearing the news that their president has been shot. From the joint ACT/5th Avenue Theatre production.

4. Annie (FDR)
You didn't think I would forget that little orphan, didja?

5. Merrily We Roll Along (JFK)
And finally we end with one of my favorite numbers in Music Theatre. "Bobby and Jackie and Jack" from Merrily We Roll Along. An entire song about the Kennedy dynasty? Sign me up! This clip's from my alma mater, Baldwin Wallace (Feat. Ryan Hook, Anthony Sagaria, and Emily Prentice).

Happy President's Day!

HAPPY V-DAY FROM GABE

Gabe the Dog is a Youtube meme king, and I just recently found out he passed away, via the official Gabe the Dog Facebook page.

In honor of his borkliness, and in honor of the impending arrival of Valentine's Day, please enjoy Gabe borking to "Careless Whisper."

Bork on, sweet prince...

And since I'm not leaving many words with y'all this week 'round, I'll let Gabe take care of it. That's right, an hour of Gabe. Enjoy if you will...for him.

FASCISM CAN BE FUN

How to laugh through the difficult times.
by Alex Syiek (Writer/Performer)

Donald Trump is not immune to the internet. While it is his greatest tool (thanks, Twitter), it is also his greatest enemy. Here are just a few ways you can laugh at the biggest joke American politics has given us since Vermin Supreme.

Of course, there is Alec Baldwin's spot-on portrayal of our Commander-in-Chief, readily available on the Youtube:

Tremendous.

And this wonderful webtoy where you can literally 'trump' the Trump.

And of course, Trumpsults, a wonderful soundboard, where you can hear just a sampling of all the horrible things Donald has said to various citizens of our country.

Keep being awesome and weird, internet. Maybe we can survive this after all.

AN ETIQUETTE GUIDE FOR 2017

How to keep everyone happy this calendar year.
by Alex Syiek (Writer/Performer)

This weekend, as I sit in a comfy living room surrounded by my peers, I think about how much I appreciate the work they each contribute to our field, their unforgettable personalities, and all the little things that get under my skin about them. With that in mind, and because of the changing landscape of our global community, I thought it might be nice to share my list of ways to mind one's manners in 2017:

1. DO NOT chew with your mouth open.

We start with a basic. A proper gentleman or lady never allows their company to have a front row seat to the first step of their digestion process. It's loud, unsightly, and sends unwanted food particles flying all around the room.

This Shouldn't Need Repeating, Just Shut Your Trap While Eating!

2. DO NOT forget your "please" and "thank you."

Today's world is all about collaboration. When someone lends a hand, the proper response is a hearty "thank you!" If a task proves too great a challenge for one, a simple "please" should provide the verbal grease to slide another into place to aid that person. These are the magic words, and using them makes our world magical.

These Magical Words Come In Sets of Threes - Make Sure You Say "Thank" And "You" And "Please!"

3. DO NOT issue a directive to the Department of Health and Human Services in order to cease funding for the Affordable Care Act.

This should be a no-brainer, but sometimes you forget that millions of Americans are dependent on Medicaid, or maybe you feel like being a bit of a spiteful, horrible human being with no backup plan in the foreseeable future. Whatever your reasoning, remember that no appreciates when you issue a directive to the Department of Health and Human Services in order to cease funding for the Affordable Care Act.

If You Want Your Citizens To Keep On Living, Just Keep Obamacare A-Giving!

4. DO NOT leave the toilet seat up after using it. (FOR THE BOYS)

Remember, oftentimes you will be sharing your abode (and commode) with members of various genders. For decency's sake, let's all remember to drop that toilet seat after we're done "draining the snake."

Don't Make a Mountain Of A Molehill With This, Just Drop The Seat After Taking A Piss.

5. DO NOT give the Dakota Access Pipeline the go-ahead.

Ohmigod. Seriously? Please stop being a horrible person. You're losing your own base by doing this. I mean, if you aren't following this Twitter account (and I'd be surprised if you aren't considering how much time you spend on there), then look at how you are alienating even your most diehard "fans."

If You Jump At The Gun And Act Without Notice, You'll Soon Find Yourself A Former POTUS.

So there you have it, your etiquette guide (or at least the start of one) as of one week into a new world order. And, remember, protesting and marching are always polite, so fear not, make noise, and march on!

DRIFT AWAY...

Escape reality for an hour or two.
by Alex Syiek (Writer/Performer)

Ever since Friday, my shoulders have rested a little bit higher than usual. I'm sure many of y'all feel the same thing. I wondered how I could relax my mind and body, when everything going on around me was telling me, "HOLY SHIT, FREAK OUT! FREAK OUT! THE WORLD IS ENDING!!!" Luckily I stumbled upon a savior of an experience on the ol' Tube of Yous. The most relaxed I've ever felt in my life is while sitting on my buddy's couch in Painesville, Ohio, sipping some sweet tea, and listening to the rain fall upon the wooden deck outside the window, hearing thunder in the distance. It's an insanely calming combination of sounds for me, and wouldn't you know it, many channels on YouTube are dedicated to generating aural experiences that replicate your favorite relaxing moments in life. Here is mine:

Rain is the best weather. Challenge me.

So, just a tip, if life gets you down, and you feel like punching certain tyrants in the face, just take a trip to your relaxing spot and pop on those headphones. I'm about to drift away myself...

 

GOODBYE SWEET WONDERFUL BROMANCE

How no other pair of men can possibly compete with Presidential love.
by Alex Syiek (Writer/Performer)

It is no secret that the world is changing drastically in a few days. It is a depressing conceit, but ultimately, I believe we, as a community of artistic, social, active Americans, will make the most of the next four years. However, there is one thing I am going to miss most about our nation's highest (and second highest) office. Of course you know what I'm talking about. The legendary Obama-Biden Bromance. First heralded as a prophecy from the great Oracle of America (picture a giant eagle, with long flowing locks), this bromance is the bromance to end all other bromances. I mean, come on:

An election night embrace. Look at the longing in their eyes.

No one would have guessed when the Obama administration started that these two politicians would drop all worldly worries and enter into a full-on, HR-cleared, relationship. And let's be honest, it was a benefit for the entire country.

This entire crowd is not there for the basketball game. They're watching the real show between these two.

However, it should be noted that not everybody was thrilled with the development of this bundle of democratic love. One could argue that it got in the way of other obligations...

Biden gonna steal your man, Michelle. He gonna do it.

Yet, throughout all of the twists and turns of these last eight years, they fought to make this nation better for all Americans, even when they disagreed. Even when they faced tragedy. Even when the nation lost hope. They were heroes. Standing tall and together.

"Joe, pick a different pose. The crossed arms is my thing"
"I just wanna be close to you, Mr. President."

And all of this came to a head last week, when Obama awarded his special love Joe Biden the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest civilian honor in our country. With this act, Obama forever topped the game when it comes to bromancing. If y'all haven't seen it, the ceremony is amazing. Especially because it was a total surprise to Vice President Biden. Watch it here:

So many happy tears.

So thank you Obama. Thank you Biden. For showing us what love, trust, and friendship can be. You have been an inspiration, and will continue to be as we push on in the future. Because - I'm gonna be frank - there's no way Trump-Pence can live up to this.

Oof. It's so uncomfortable. Two people who do not wanna be there.

Happy early inauguration day, everyone. Make the best of this next year. Create, create, create.

HAPPY HOLIDAZE

It's the day after Christmas/the second day of Hanukkah, and like me, y'all are probly done with family time and want to hole up in a cave with your new ugly sweaters and nondescript gift cards to places you'll never go to and eat all the leftovers from the dinner you made that nobody appreciated. Good times. Also, even worse, I'm in California this year, and if any of ya know me, you know I love a great white Christmas. The best we have here is a couple of gloomy rainy days, properly channeling my mood during this season. Julia Murney, Broadway performer extraordinaire, delivers a great rendition of "The Twelve Days After Christmas", which truly conveys my feelings right now. Enjoy! I'm going into my isolated cave. Wake me once Trump is gone...or when the world as we now know it is gone. Honestly, whichever comes first. :)

GIRAFFES...IN DANGER?!

A world without giraffes is hardly a world at all.
by Alex Syiek (Writer/Performer)

So my mother sent me this breaking news this week:

A world without giraffes is hardly a world at all.

If any of y'all reading this are close to me, you will know that I love giraffes. Favorite animal. Hands down. They are majestic, they are hilarious, they are survivors. So when I saw they were put on the endangered list, I was heartbroken. Of course, my enterprising mother suggested I put on a fundraiser performance of my musical, Giraffenstein and donate the proceeds to a wildlife rescue fund. I think it's a fabulous idea, and I will probably do it once I am back in the city after the holidays.

Giraffenstein was written for the 2014 Hollywood Fringe Festival, and I was lucky enough to have my brilliant sister and fellow Crazytown blogger, Joanna Syiek direct it. As the name suggests, the musical is the story of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, as told by animals of the African Serengeti. So you can get a lil' taste of what it looked like, here's our promo:

And we're all giraffes.

It was a joyous time of my life putting the production up. The company felt like a family, and I got to be surrounded by my favorite animals as they sang and danced. What could be better?

But tragically, the musical could end up a relic of the past if giraffes are no longer around in our world. So I implore you to step back and recognize the devastating effects both poaching and climate change are having on some of the most incredible creatures on Earth, including the giraffe, the African elephant, and coral reefs. If you'd like to find out more about humanity's unfortunate effect on our global animal family tree, check out Vanishing, a CNN report, which, by the time you are reading this will have already aired. I'm sure you will be able to find it online.

Climate change is a real threat, no matter what certain administrations may posit. We can be the change we want to see in the world. Let's save those long tongued, cute-as-hell creatures and thousands of other endangered species.