Because now is as good a time as any to learn the new national language.
By Jennifer Anderson (actor/singer/девушка)
Last week on MSNBC, California representative Maxine Waters sat down with Chris Hayes and the rest of the nation for some good, old fashioned Tea Time.
Since the Kremlin Klan has already influenced elections, probably won the Patriots the Super Bowl again and gave the Best Picture Oscar to La La Land, we're not that far away from having to learn the Cyrillic alphabet like Mr. Garrison had to learn the Canadian one.
So why not beat the rush and start learning some Russian now? As someone who's attempted to learn the Slavic language once when she was bored on a cruise ship 7 years ago, I feel like I can lend some helpful tips and tricks for mastering this tough and cryptic language.
1. Just skip the voice stuff. I literally got stuck saying the Russian version of "hello" for 35 minutes before I just gave up an moved on. We won't need to say "hello" in new Russia anyway.
2. Imagine the weird looking letters as the bones of our founding fathers turning over in their graves to help you remember them. For example, the Cyrillic B...
...kind of looks like Benjamin Franklin hanging his head and crying into his protruding belly.
3. Let the pictures remind you of happier times, like this one:
Ah, remember those pre-DeVos days when you actually learned how to read in school and girls were looked at as more than hosts?
JENNIFER ANDERSON актер и певец, живущий в Бруклине. Она любит мать Россию, да она делает. www.jenniferjanderson.com
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