BI-COASTAL

A look at the two very different sides of our country.
by Alex Syiek (Writer/Performer)

I was at my dentist's office in Southern California today, getting in all my last minute cavity fillings before I have to stop riding off my parents' insurance, and the dentist asked me if I thought I would move back to Los Angeles area any time soon (I'm in California on vacation for a couple of weeks). I told her that I didn't think so, as I love New York so much. And besides, I continued to explain, you're either a New York person or a Los Angeles person. Well that got my dentist very curious. She asked "Well, what makes you a Los Angeles person versus a New York person?" So I thought I spend today's post doing a little side-by-side of the differences between those two very special groups of people. Now remember, everything I say here is derived from stereotypes, so don't get your panties in a bunch if you get offended.

Without further ado, Los Angeles People VS New York People!:

1. OCEANS
   
   If you're a Los Angeles person, you probably live a lot closer to the Pacific Ocean. On the other hand, those crazy New Yorkers live closer to the Atlantic Ocean! Now who's making a splash?!
   
   
2. CHARTER CITY IN SQUARE MILES
   
   If you're a Los Angeles person, you live in a sprawling metropolitan landscape spanning 503 sq. miles. On the other hand, those people from the "Big Apple" live in a gorgeous city stretching 469 sq. miles. Sign me up!
   
   
3. ACQUISITION FROM NATIVE PEOPLES
   
   If you're a Los Angeleno, you live in lands formerly occupied by the Chumash tribe. While those ravenous New York folk gobbled up the lands that belonged to Lanape bands. Talk about different, amiright?!
   
   
4. TIME DIFFERENCE
   
   If you're in Los Angeles, you don't find it strange when you look at your watch and see that it is 9:00 in the morning. But what if I told you that in New York, it's already noon! Obviously, New Yorkers think they're too good for LA time. Play ball!
   
   
5. SONGS ABOUT THE CITY
   
   Los Angeles citizens can be heard singing Randy Newman's classic, "I Love L.A." at all hours of the night, while New York citizens hum "Broadway School Days" (from the revue The Passing Show Of 1916) as they walk the streets. Sign me up!

So there you have it! All the important details you need to know about what makes an Los Angeles person different from a New York person. Don't get 'em confused now! (But really. I consider myself a resident of both, and love both very much, and while generalizations about the two different camps run wild, stereotypes never got anyone anywhere nice. So, I don't know. Be Amurican. Give a hearty cheers to all our wonderful athletes bringing home gold, silver, and bronze medals from the Rio Summer Olympics, no matter if they're from L.A., N.Y.C., Cleveland, or Juneau.)