SOME REALLY FUN THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU'RE HAVING A BREAKDOWN

Tips from an expert...
By Leah Bonnema (Stand-Up Comic)

We try to keep it together. A little bump in the road, uhh, no biggie. We keep pushing and oh, there's another one. Whatever, we can handle it. We remind ourselves how lucky we are to be born in a country with running water. We're being positive! We are grateful! Then one day a whole pile of turd comes crashing down on our heads at the same time. The build up is erupting. It's time for a breakdown!

What do we do with all that pent up rage/sadness/desperation/fear? We aren't toddlers anymore. We can't just throw poop at the walls kicking and screaming (unfortunately). Apparently some people can just breathe it away; I am not one of those people.

Me crying to A New Hope (ok it's Visine)

Here are a few ways I've found to release the beast (does not include smoking, drinking or having sex with random strangers --> so probably this is a list for people in their thirties and up).

1) There *might* be some emotional eating in an attempt to push all the feelings back down into your face. If you are a stronger person than me perhaps you can fight it. My best hope is to at least try and eat real food or food I enjoy and not just shove a box of whatever condiments I came across first into my face. (Sometimes in a fire you reach for the thing closest to you to smother it.) Maybe one day I can find comfort somewhere else. Maybe I just love food. Maybe you over there judging me should go f&%k yourself. BUT WHAT I DO KNOW is that you cannot consume the entirety of the thing you are eating. You must retain some control and throw the last piece of it into a trash can. Stare down at it. Point at it. Roar "You don't own me!" Then maybe pour some water on it just in case you get really sad later.

2) Set it free. If it was poison someone would have sucked it out immediately. (Sometimes I can't cry so I need to initiate the process by watching an underdog movie --> helps to pull it out of me.) I suggest laying on the floor in the bathroom and sobbing like a maniac. Also the kitchen floor works well too. I am not a public cryer so I keep it in the apartment but do you. I have found though that laying in bed with the blankets over me sort of hampers my ability to feel cleansed. The cry needs to be uncovered to be exorcised. Also you will probably need a soundtrack. GO hard, pick angry or pick sad, but go deep into it. 

 

3) Once you are passed the explosive stage, text (or call I guess) a good friend. We need our friends. If you are having a breakdown because you feel you have no friends --> reach out to someone. Maybe start volunteering somewhere so you feel like part of a community who is doing good. Then as a byproduct you will also make new friends and have someone to text the next time you have a breakdown.

4) You are getting it back together. Go to the gym. Do something active. If you aren't a member of a gym or do workout tapes at home then walk it off. Walk hard. Maybe go dancing at a club that plays 80s and 90s music and twirl in the corner for hours. Just move. Now we switch to music that makes us feel strong. 

 

5) Laugh. Go out and laugh. Laugh deep, let it all out. It chemically changes your brain. I always suggest supporting female driven content (putting my money where my mouth is and all that) so get out there and watch The Boss. I love laughing in a movie theater and experiencing collective enjoyment. 

We did it! We moved through it! Now we are ready to go again until the next time.

Leah Bonnema  is a Stand Up Comic. www.LeahBonnema.com
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