THIS WEEK I LEARNED A VALUABLE LESSON ABOUT MY MENTAL STATE

My therapy hard at work...
-By Leah Bonnema (Stand-Up Comic)

I tend to ruminate on things. Obsess would be another choice word for it. I do like ruminate better though, it sounds more...intellectual as opposed to panicked.

I've come to the conclusion that me with bad thoughts is the same as me with sugar. I just can't have a little. I'm unable to mull over a situation that causes me anxiety and then toss it away in the same manner that I am not going to eat just one Milk Chocolate Cadbury Mini Egg. Neither lies within my wheelhouse of abilities.

It's all or nothing. So the for past two weeks when I've come upon thoughts that bother me or situations that have been upsetting, I've just turned it off. Shut the brain door on it. Closed for bad thought business.

I don't want to get stuck thinking about it over and over so I just can't think about it at all. This is the way we (me and my brain) are going to have to play it. Because once I begin the 'what if'  walk it always spirals. I only have so much energy so why bother to start it. And to be completely upfront, it's been the best two weeks I've had in a long time. 

I'm just moving on to activity and not letting myself get railroaded but things that are already done, irrelevant and/or probably are no where near as big a deal as they feel in the moment. Hello Spring. I've sprung!

Leah Bonnema  is a Stand Up Comic. www.LeahBonnema.com
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