DO YOU KISS YOUR MAMA WITH THAT MOUTH?!

And the latest in strange things shouted at me from the audience...
-By Leah Bonnema (Stand-Up Comic)

Once a man asked me "Do you kiss your mama with that mouth" after a show. I know, hack. And although it is phrased as a question it's much more of a statement. He's just letting me know that he finds women talking about stuff they want to talk about offensive and that equals a dirty mouth. A dirty mouth equals unladylike which equals bad, in his book. 

It's an attempt at making me feel ashamed. But it's so ridic it's too hilarious to be taken seriously. Who asks a grown adult if they kiss their mom with their mouth? Maybe if I was four? What adult is primarily using their mouth as a mother kissing device. Just the oddest expression. Anyhow....

This past week a lady said to me --> and by 'said' I mean she shouted out from the audience when I was onstage "I bet when your boyfriend is in the room you don't talk like this!" I was so intrigued. I completely stopped whatever I was going on about and questioned her. I genuinely can't imagine why anyone would ever think that. I can't really see myself hiding all of this, all of me, from the person I love and live with... WHY?! Do people do that? I am genuinely asking. That would be so sad.

I liked this lady. She didn't say it in a mean way exactly - just sort of very New England. In the end it was a good and very interesting exchange. Such an odd thing for me to wrap my head around. The idea that me, a comic, would hide my act or watch my mouth because I wouldn't want someone I was dating to hear it. I'm a comedian. This is what I do. I don't think my boyfriend is dating me because he believes I have the mouth of Heidi the mountain girl.

I guess I am shocked because if you see me perform I think it's pretty clear what I am putting out there. And I can't imagine someone understanding me to be the kind of person who would date a man who couldn't handle the truth. I'd be like 'Oh you don't like what I have to say then you gotsta go!'  So I assume that comment was more about her. But isn't it always...

Leah Bonnema  is a Stand Up Comic. www.LeahBonnema.com
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